Parent to Parent
Clark Kent vs. Superman: Who Would You Rather Have as a Dad?By Vicki Schultz Having a dad who can fly would be cool–not to mention the x-ray vision and super-strength–but when it comes to the everyday there-ness a kid needs from a parent, Clark Kent would beat Superman, hands down. Here's why: Request from Hypothetical Super-spawn: "Can you help me with my math homework, Dad?" Superman: "Sorry, son. I have a Legion of Superheroes meeting." OR "Lex Luthor's at it again–gotta go." OR "The polar ice-cap needs blowing on, and Iceman's on vacation." H.S. would shrug, accustomed to such rejection: "Okay, Dad. Don't get your tongue stuck." But Clark Kent, if separate from Superman, would never blow off his son: "Sure thing, sport. I'm good with numbers. Did you know I was once a Math-lete?" H.S. might look at the math-letic Clark Kent–a man capable of exponential powers with numbers but with zero charisma–and think, ‘Boy, my dad's a geek.’ But secretly he'd think his dad was the coolest geek in the world. And I hope my kids will think the same about me, because if they uncover the carefully disguised geek beneath my super-cool exterior, that means I've been there for them–to help with homework, play silly games, and embarrass them in front of their friends (who will also get an up-close look at my inner Clark. My point is this: Unlike superheroes, we mere humans have the luxury of saying "No" to the multitudes of causes and committees that would lay claim to our lives. And sometimes, oftentimes, we should. Even superheroes have limitations, yet we spend 50+ hours each week at our jobs, often on the road and away from our families, and still choose to sit on boards of directors, chair fundraisers, and attend committee meetings. To show our commitment to family, we coach our son's Little League teams and cart our daughters back and forth to dance and karate classes. (The kids are on the same super-schedules we are because every minute must be filled, achieving.) But none of us do any of it well because we also need time to sleep, bathe, and just…breathe. Wouldn't it be nicer to play a game of Monopoly? We might get to know each other better. So why do we collect achievements like priceless knick-knacks on the shelves of our psyches, forgetting what is truly important in our lives? Blame Superman if you want, but it's not him we're competing against–it's our peers. Success is measured in lists these days: the number of lines on our resumes, the array of extracurricular activities on our college applications, and the "League of Extraordinary Gentlemen" with whom we network to elevate our super-statuses. In a world of so many Super-Moms, -Dads, and -Kids, it's hard to compete, but we are driven to try. It exhausts me just thinking about it. You see, I do not aspire to be a Super-Mom; for me, being the regular kind is hard enough. I will expose my children to sports and the arts, but there's a limit to how many activities I'll chauffeur them to (and how many distractions from their homework I will allow.) It's a precarious balance, reaching for my own dreams while satisfying the needs of my family. Sometimes achievements must fall from my subliminal shelves to make room for something truly priceless: time spent getting to know my kids, their alter-egos and all. That's how I will strive to be super. I'm no Clark Kent yet, but competitive as I am, I'm driven to keep trying. Vicki Schultz lives in West Henrietta with her husband and two young sons. She is a member of the Society of Children's Book Writers & Illustrators. Genesee Valley Parent Magazine Copyright.
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