Teens and Tweens
Swimming Holes, Late Nights & Lax Rules... Oh My! Summer safety rules for teens
Do you remember that feeling you experienced on the afternoon of the last day of school? I fondly recall one particular last day in more detail than others. The junior high bus was filled with ecstatic kids slapping high fives and shouting the lyrics to Alice Cooper's song, "School's Out." We didn't mind that the music coming from the portable, eight-track tape player was garbled. The sun was shining and the school year was over – a glorious moment for an adolescent, even if not for the bus driver.
The last day of school provides teens with a sense of freedom that is intoxicating. They look forward to hanging out with friends and flexible curfews. However, parents should think about their expectations for the summer months, particularly because many teens will be spending more hours unsupervised, which is often a catalyst for mischief.
Too Much of a Good Thing
Free time is wonderful when it breeds creativity and time to do those things teens don't have time for during the hectic school year, such as reading for pleasure or exploring a new hobby. However, free time can also mean finding trouble.
Ilene Val-Essen, Ph.D., author of Bring Out the Best in Your Child and Your Self: Creating a Family Based on Mutual Respect and creator of the "Quality Parenting" program, explains, "Many teens aren't mature enough to organize their time wisely. As their brains go through great transformations of growth and refinement, they often respond by acting impulsively and seeking thrills through risk-taking."
Teens should be granted some freedoms in order to become independent adults; however, parents should still keep tabs on them. If your teen offers, "I'm going to Sue's house," without specifying what she and Sue will be doing or the time she will return home, be sure to ask. Also ask your teen to check in and to contact you if plans change.
If your teen is regularly hanging out with nothing to do, brainstorm with her to find constructive alternatives. "Parents and teens should work together to develop a plan for the summer, and teens should take the lead in developing it," suggests Val- Essen. "This will help teens think about their goals and how they will accomplish them." Val-Essen says "family time" should be an essential part of the plan. She states, "Teens have a powerful need for attachment. When parents are less available, they attach powerfully to friends, and this dependence may lead them into harm's way."
Summer Safety Hazards
During the summer months, teens spend more time behind the wheel, stay out later at night, and often attempt risky outdoor adventures, such as swimming in unsupervised locations or hiking in areas where warning signs are posted.
Therefore, it's necessary that parents communicate their expectations, particularly regarding their teen's driving. Studies conducted by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) show that the period between Memorial Day and Labor Day is the deadliest for drivers ages 15-20. Many experts say summer's higher fatality rate is due to teens having more free time, less supervision, and relaxed curfews.
Driving is not the only potential hazard. Summer activities, such as skateboarding and riding ATVs, also have inherent risks. Working at a retail mall until closing can be dangerous as well. Parents should always discuss potential risks with any activity. Don't assume your teen is thinking ahead. If your teen is going to a party, ask where the party is being held and for the number of the person hosting the party. Be aware that parties held in fields or other secluded, unsupervised areas are typically occasions for underage drinking or substance abuse.
Solutions
A relationship with your teen built on respect and shared decision-making is ideal. Val-Essen reminds us, "When teens respect their parents and care about what they think of them, they're in a far better position to stay true to their own core values - even when they face peer pressure." Val-Essen adds, "As parents and teens work together respectfully, we bring out the best in our teens and inevitably discover the best within ourselves."
Myrna Beth Haskell is a freelance writer and frequent contributor to Rochester Area & Genesee Valley Parent Magazine who lives in Salt Point, NY. She is the mother of two teenagers and specializes in parenting issues and children's development.
Genesee Valley Parent Magazine Copyright.
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