By Karen Higman

Whether your child is starting a new school this fall due to a school closure or moving up from elementary to middle school, the transition to a different school can be tough on kids and stressful for parents. Due to the recent closure of some local Catholic schools, more children than usual will be facing this transition in the Rochester area in September. The key to starting the new school year off right is to take proactive steps now – before the end of this school year and throughout the summer. Regardless of your child's age, you should take the first step in beginning this process, understanding that children do not necessarily have all the tools or the maturity to facilitate transitioning to a new school.

Recognize that Transition is Difficult
Starting a new school, whether voluntarily or due to a change in circumstances, is going to cause a child some degree of anxiety. Sometimes just acknowledging openly what your child might be feeling gives her the "green light" to express her own doubts or fears. It's important to note that change brings uncertainty. When a child is uncertain about something, anxiety can occur and with it a feeling of fear or self-doubt. As a parent you can open the lines of communication and reassure your child by taking appropriate steps now.
Tips for Easing the Transition

1. Involve your child. Keep your child as informed as possible about what is going on. The older the child, the more information you can share. Since most school transitions are not a matter of choice but of necessity, your child is probably not choosing the school. However, as a parent you can give your son or daughter information along the way to minimize any big surprises.

2.Communicate. Fears or anxiety can usually be eliminated or lessened if there is open communication between parent and child about the change. Let your child know that you identify with their feelings and don't try to ignore them. If appropriate, think of a similar experience that you had and share that with your son or daughter. It helps for your child to know that this is a universal experience. Remember to leave the door open for future conversations by saying, "Anytime you want to talk about what you're feeling, I am here to listen". Check back with him periodically or when a situation arises that could trigger strong feelings such as the last day of classes at his old school.

3.Stay positive. Let's face it; this change in your child's school life is also a change for you and you may not be happy about it! The important thing to remember is that as the adult, you need to take the high road and keep a positive attitude for the sake of your child. Remind your child of the good aspects of the new school. If your child is "graduating" to a new school, this gives you an even better opportunity to talk about the perks of getting older. For example, if your child is moving from elementary school to middle school, discuss how fun it is to change classrooms rather than dwelling on the anxiety some kids feel about switching classes and getting lost.

4.Visit the new school. The fear of change is fueled by the unknown. If your child does not visit the school prior to opening day and know the surroundings, this becomes just another thing to worry about. For kids who are moving from one building to another within the same school district, the school staff usually schedules an organized visitation with the entire grade or class. Be sure to ask your older child if such a visit is scheduled and talk to her that evening about how things went. If this is a move that just involves your family, you need to call the school and schedule the visit. It is good to visit in June before classes end if possible so that your child can actually meet the teachers and see the school in action. If not, be sure to find out in June when the teachers return in August and when they welcome visitors.

5.Practice makes perfect. Even if you have visited the school, it never hurts to have an actual trial run so that your child can become familiar with the routine. If you are driving your child to school, this will also be important to you so that you can see the traffic patterns and the route in order to judge your time correctly. For children taking the bus to school, make sure that you walk your child to the bus stop and – depending on the child's age – tell them what plans have been put into place for daily drop-off and pick-up.

6.Meet new students and families. Check with the school to see if there are any social activities planned over the summer for new students to meet. Sometimes the school's PTA organizes a picnic or other activity prior to the start of school so that you and your child have a chance to meet others. If you know another family or child who will be attending the school, consider calling them over the summer to get together. Your child will be more comfortable the first day of school if he recognizes a few friendly faces, even if they are not close friends.

7.Start school spirit now! Consider going to your child's new school or a local store and buying an article of clothing or a backpack with the new school logo. The item does not need to be expensive, but your child will feel like part of the team if she already has a shirt with the school mascot on it! If your son or daughter is starting a school that requires uniforms, make sure that you plan well in advance and buy the appropriate clothing during the summer. Nothing will embarrass a child more than coming to school on the first day without the required uniform.

8.Know how change affects your child. As a parent, you know your child best and you know how well or how poorly he adapts to change. Think about strategies that may have worked for you and your child in the past during a stressful time and see if they can be employed during the change to a new school. It is important to remember a general rule of thumb that applies to all kids – making sure that your child begins to adjust his bedtime at least a week before school starts. Whether your son or daughter is 7 years old or 17, everyone is cranky when they are sleep deprived!

Karen Higman is Senior Vice President, Institutional Resources at the YMCA of Greater Rochester.