When it comes time to start a family, especially for those women who choose to be at-home mothers, it can be as isolating an experience as it is rewarding. It's easy, and even common for families to live thousands of miles apart from each other, and with a new baby in the house, a mother needs more support than any time in her life. Unfortunately, children don't come with a manual, and it can be difficult to trade information and tips without the benefit of a large, or at least nearby extended family.

Today, there's a perfect solution to these and many other obstacles mothers face – building friendships with like-minded women! It may seem obvious, but the benefits of Moms' groups are numerous and often overlooked. It can be difficult for new moms to find a network of confidants, but after dividing time between work, home, partner and child, every woman needs some "we" time as much as she does "me" time. While playgroups are a fantastic way for children to meet other kids their age, moms should also be afforded the opportunity to "play" together, with special adults-only events ranging from coffee together once a month to lavish dinners out at local restaurants.

However, some of the most important benefits are simply the emotional strength provided by having a support system. Darcy Forsina, now a member of the RochesterMommies group, remembers realizing that once she adopted her son, she would be the only person she knew with a child. "There are no small children in my neighborhood, my friends don't have children," said Forsina, which was when she saw a posting on Craigslist for the rapidly expanding group. Now, there's no question that if she needs a quick tip for colic or just a friendly face, she's got a network of mothers just like her.

Giving Back
In addition to socialization, these groups afford women a chance to give back to the community through service projects. Fundraising and other organized events serve as a means for mothers to teach their children the importance of volunteerism. In fact, some groups even make it their priority to commit their time and energy to projects typically benefiting needy children. The Pittsford Chapter of MOMS Club was presented with an award for Outstanding Overall Service Program at the Annual State Luncheon in March, as nearly all 35 members have participated by making dinners for the Ronald McDonald House, filling backpacks with school supplies for at-risk teens, and even collecting warm pajamas for homeless children in Rochester.

Services within groups often include "in a pinch meals," in which members of Mothers & More provide a week's worth of full dinners in cases of a new baby or family emergency, as well as rotating baby-sitting co-ops for those who prefer another family or friend to watch their little ones.

What Kind of Mom Are You?
There are a multitude of groups to choose from, including some that cater only to at-home mothers, only to working mothers, a mix of the two, mothers of twins, single parents, and even culturally diverse families. A few of the most popular groups are the MOMS Club, Mommies Network, and Mothers & More – each of which has an extensive list of chapters right here in Greater Rochester.

MOMS Clubs (Moms Offering Moms Support) as well as the RochesterMommies Network function in similar ways, with goals of aiding each other as well as their community in addition to networking and sharing with each other (in person or via online forums). However, MOMS Clubs cater specifically to at-home mothers, offering meetings during the day, "when at-home moms most need support." MOMS Club encourages at-home moms not to be "a stay-at-home-mom who always stays home," and plans everything from fieldtrips and playgroups to "MOMS Night Out," where women can leave their children at home and participate in more adult activities. Ann Marie of the Penfield/East Rochester Chapter says that once she realized she didn't have to be cooped up all day doing housework, everything changed. "I have been a better mother now that I get out more often with other moms and our children."

While the MOMS Clubs are geared toward one particular group of women, the RochesterMommies Network extends to any mother, whether working full- or part-time or at home, and has roots based largely in online networking (although Java Fridays at Panera are always a favorite). With a massive online forum that includes topics ranging from events, hobbies and health to their popular Cultures & Diversity group and Holistic Healthcare, Mommies Network offers a wide variety of discussions accessible by all members. "As a Multi-racial family this group has been an amazing resource for our children we recognize that they are unique, we celebrate their diversity and support them in building lasting friendships," says Jennifer Wells, Cultures & Diversity forum moderator. In May, the RochesterMommies will hold their first-ever Mom's Night Out at the King & I Thai Restaurant, so whether you're pregnant for the first time or have adopted children, recently moved to the area, have twins or are a single parent, RochesterMommies will give you an opportunity to commiserate and find inspiration in others just like you.

Mothers & More is again similar in many aspects to other groups, but stresses more so than anything the empowerment a mother should feel simply because of her role - regardless of how she chooses to play it. Mothers & More leaves choices to mothers alone and sees each as an individual, with a mission statement including the reminder "a mother is more than any single role she plays at any given point in her lifetime." Annual family events such as potlucks and picnics, book clubs, a "seasoned moms" group, and of course Moms Night Out are all features of local Mothers & More chapters. In addition, monthly meetings are not simply to catch up – Mothers & More invites guests or members to plan events such as wine tours (in late May), or mini-seminars that cover topics such as "LRN 2 TXT: A Crash Course in Texting." The "course" was taught by a member and her teenage daughter, and covered even advanced techniques of this communication phenomenon.

Mothers of Preschoolers is another group in which all manner of working moms are welcome, and even offer a group for teen mothers to find support from one another. Unlike some groups though, MOPS focuses largely on the importance of the years from infancy through Kindergarten, stressing that mother-child bonding in these years as the most crucial period in a child's life.

Regardless of what kind of mother you are, or which group suits you best, it's clear that women finally understand how easy it can be to connect with others who are in similar situations. And, with the help of the internet, you don't necessarily have to leave the house to find them. With so many resources at hand and such diverse groups of people, there's no reason to be struggling, or even just bored on your own. All you need is a few kind words or a good brand of diaper rash cream. Share on moms!

Raquella Hess is a former staff writer for Genesee Valley Parent.