By Carolyn Jabs

Before the holidays, many kids make wish lists. But how do they know what they want? Sometimes parents can trace a child's desires back to a TV show, a friend or even a celebrity. Today, it's likely that the longings of your child or teen are being shaped by experiences they have online in settings parents rarely visit.

Getting the Message
The difference between content and advertising used to be clear in traditional media. Even though
children can't recognize the distinction until about age 8, parents can point out TV or magazine ads that are designed to make you want snacks that aren't healthy or toys that aren't really that much fun.

Online, where content is usually free, ads are everywhere. Because companies know people pay little attention to pop ups, tiles, and banner ads, they've become creative about inserting their messages into content. As a result, in a process much like catching a cold, children develop an awareness of and even a craving for various foods, clothes and other products without knowing how or why. Here are some of the tactics being used to influence your kids:

Advergames. It's easy to insert product logos and mascots into arcade style games. The more the child plays, the more he or she is exposed to the brand.

Freebies. Websites routinely offer kids free wallpaper, ringtones, "smilies" and other goodies that just happen to incorporate the company's name or logo. Many companies also harvest information about kids and their interests by getting them to sign up for sweepstakes and other contests.

Social Networks. Coors Lite and other brands have their own MySpace page where people actually post
comments about the product. Advertisers believe getting young people to interact with a brand as a personality makes them gravitate towards that product when it's time to buy.

Buzz marketing. Companies give preferred customers freebies or, in some cases, cash in the hope that they will talk about a product with their friends. Young children, for example, might be encouraged to send buddies a funny e-card which includes product images.

Mobile marketing. More and more companies are sending text ads to cell phones. Soon these will be
triggered by specific places, so a teen walking past a record store will get a message about a CD that's on sale.

Virtual worlds. In virtual worlds, kids can create alter-egos called avatars and then wander around having
virtual experiences. Even on kid friendly sites like Whyville, many of these experiences are designed by
corporations eager to sell things either to the avatar or the person behind it.
This kind of advertising isn't easily supervised by parents. The fact that parents can't always be the "middle man" between what is presented on the computer and what your child processes is one of the reasons these settings so appealing to advertisers. They know they can sell directly with kids who don't have the skepticism or critical thinking capabilities of adults.
Unfortunately, this early immersion in commercial messages isn't always good for our kids, our culture or even our planet. Without adult intervention, kids may find
themselves craving things that are unnecessary or even unhealthy. They begin to define themselves in terms of what they have rather than what they can do or what kind of people they are, and they are drawn into the wastefulness that makes Americans consume five times more energy than other people on the planet.

What Should You Do?
So what can parents do? First, think about your own values. The premise of advertising is that life will be better (or even perfect) if you buy this product. Wise adults know happiness can't be purchased. Genuine human contentment comes not from consuming, but from creating, communicating, competing and
connecting. Make those activities the focus of life in your family, especially during the holidays. Instead of
one-trick toys and gadgets they won't use, consider giving your child materials that stimulate creativity and imagination or experiences that enrich his or her sense of life's possibilities.

Second, encourage skepticism and critical thinking. Many kids now know the person on the other end of online communication could be a sexual predator. They are less likely to suspect a shill who is being paid to tell them how cool a particular product is. Ask kids to track back how they heard about a new product. Where did their positive feelings come from? Why do they believe the promises about the product?

Third, talk about consuming mistakes. Many kids have rooms crammed with stuff that seemed urgently important-until they got it. When products don't live up toexpectation, talk about the
discrepancy between promise and reality. This lesson is, perhaps, best learned when children spend their own money on something that seems-oh-so-cool – until they actually own it.

Discriminating Tastes
Indiscriminate consuming can make kids greedy, fat, and vulnerable to debt when they are adults. More
importantly it blinds them to more rewarding ways of spending time and money. Most parents vaccinate kids so they won't get physically sick. Today, inoculating kids so they recognize and resist viral marketing is also part of raising healthy kids.

Carolyn Jabs, M.A., has written extensively about online issues while raising three computer savvy kids. She can be reached on her website www.growing-up-online.com or by e-mail at carolynjabs@carolynjabs.com .