"I spoke to his caseworker at and all I knew was his age, name, and what the caseworker told me about him. It was almost like love at first sight, but without the picture," says Black. "I cried and laughed as I received status updates on him."
Black originally began her adoption search because she wanted to give back and also because she felt that it was important for her 5-year-old biological son Styles to have a brother. What she says she ended up finding in Lennon was a very lovable, happy child that completes her family.
"I just felt like investing in him," says Black. But she wasn't talking about how much money it would cost to bring Lennon into her family. Instead, it was the emotional investment that she had been saving since childhood.
More than Words
Black wanted to be the type of parent that could become a resource for the child because she knew first-hand what youth facing these life challenges in the foster care system were going through.
Growing up, if it wasn't for her mother and the support of her extended family, Veronica would have also been placed in the foster care system. She had behavioral issues that she said stemmed from abuse she experienced during her younger years.
"It gives me a perspective that I think allows me to offer children help in ways those that have never experienced it could," says Black.
Her life experience made it easier to put herself in the place of being Lennon's mom, even before she first saw him.
"I drove to Erie County to meet the caseworker and to read Lennon's file. At that time, in my heart and mind, I was already claiming Lennon as my child and was very eager to meet him," says Black.
"Many of us search using photos and fall completely in love with the child. I was driven not based on a photo, but on the need to give a child a forever family and the unconditional love that every child deserves."
A Guided Journey
Like many other people thinking about adopting, Black believed that the process of bringing Lennon into her home would be "brutal" and bewildering. Many parents expend not only a great deal financially, but also emotionally and psychologically in proving their ability to make a life long commitment to a child. Much to Black's surprise, her journey was smoother-and that is what made all of the difference. With the help of support agencies like Adoption Resource Network (ARN) at Hillside Children's Center she found that she was not traveling the path alone.
"It sounds overwhelming, but it's not. They walked me through it," says Black. She says she was also connected with families that had already gone through the process and could help her advocate for what she wanted at a pace that was good for her.
"The biggest hurdle in adoption for most people seems to be 'How do I start?'" says Lisa Maynard, ARN's executive director. "Prospective parents need to consider what kind of adoption they would most likely prefer. This depends a lot on what kind of child prospective parents are seeking."
Children available for adoption can range in ages from birth to teenagers, and can be from foreign countries like China, Korea, and Romania or found domestically in the United States through both private public resources. Often children in the child welfare system are also awaiting parents.
According to Maynard, adoptive parents who want an infant find success most often through domestic infant adoption or international adoption because the children in the child welfare system are typically older youth.
"Those parents who are not comfortable with adopting children of a different race and/or culture would be better served not adopting internationally," says Maynard, noting that the fees for this type of adoption also need to be considered, as they are typically significantly higher than adopting a child in foster care.
"Those adoptive families that are limited by financial resources may want to consider 'waiting child adoption,' because it is largely cost free," Maynard adds. This alternative can be as fulfilling for both parent and child as an infant adoption. But adopting a 7 year old comes with different challenges and opportunities. Black knew that she might need extra help because Lennon had been in foster care since he was 2 months old, and had been placed with five other families.
"These children are at a higher risk of dropping out of high school, becoming homeless, entering into criminal behavior, becoming addicted to drugs and alcohol and committing suicide," says Maynard.
But Black was confident that Lennon was right for her, and that she had the support she needed.
Maynard also points out that by adopting Lennon out of foster care, Black likely saved him from a "dismal future" because he could have aged out of the system -- continuing to bounce from family to family, and growing to adulthood without the opportunity of finding a permanent family setting.
Black wondered for three months how a child like Lennon could have "lingered" in the foster care system. She now believes that the answer to her question was because she was destined to adopt him.
The Gift
Not even knowing what Lennon looked like, Black felt drawn to him and had opened her heart to him. She looked forward to the required meeting and it was important for her to cement those feelings. A meeting was arranged, and the big day came.
The first meeting between the soon-to-be family members took place in the play area of a Mc Donald's.
"When I first saw him, my heart went out to him. My eyes were filled with tears of joy," says Black. The two played and all the while she was trying to keep Lennon from noticing the tears that kept welling up in her eyes.
“People like Veronica Black have so much to offer a child," says Maynard. "She knows the challenges adopting an older child could bring, yet she was firm in her commitment for the life of the child once she made the decision to move forward," says Maynard.
Subsequent visits followed where Lennon was introduced to Styles. The final visit in Buffalo before Black finalized the adoption was a special one for her because she wanted to give him a gift.
"I told him I wanted to give him the key to my heart," says Black, who gave him a metal key to symbolize what she had said. That key is now in Lennon's room at his new home, where he says, "I always wanted a family like this."
Todd Pipitone lives in Palmyra with his wife and 1 year old son. He is an employee with Hillside family of agencies.
