By Katrina Cassel, M.Ed.

Helping an adopted child deal with adoption issues can be a challenge. Helping a child of another race or culture understand and have pride in his heritage is an additional, but necessary, challenge.
At some point in his life, usually in the preschool years, your child will realize he doesn’t resemble the rest of the family. You have light skin and his is dark. You have blue eyes and his are brown. Or he may share your looks but not cultural background. You can help him develop an understanding of and take pride in his unique background.

Here are some ideas.

Find role models in history from your child’s race or birth country.
Look for artist, scientist, athletes, musicians, missionaries, pastors, government leaders and others. Expose your child to a wide variety of role models from his own culture and those of other cultures, too. When your child has a school report due, suggest he write about one of these role models.

Find role models in your church or community that share your child’s heritage.
Seek out doctors, teachers, athletes, neighbors and other adult role models for your child. Invite them to your house. Your whole family can benefit from their friendship.

Visit an adoption support group to meet adoptive families of all races.
Tammie and Jim Guerin of Churchville adopted their first child, Ryan, 6 domestically, and Renee, now 4 from China. They are actively involved in the local chapter of Families of Children From China, an all parent volunteer support group that meets on a regular basis.
“They host a variety of cultural events throughout the year,” says Tammie Guerin. “Including the Chinese New Year.” Guerin says this group enables her family to learn about Chinese culture and get to know other families who have adopted children from China. Guerin says its important though that her children appreciate the cultures and differences among all people.
“We want our children to understand that families are formed in different ways and we don’t need to have a qualifier. Although a family unit may be created in different ways, it’s fundamentally about loving eachother,” says Guerin.
In Rochester, the Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Family of Agencies hosts a variety of events for families throughout the year.
“These events are wonderful opportunities for families to connect with others who have ‘been there, done that’,” says Lisa Maynard, Executive Director of the organization.

Encourage your child to have a pen-pal adopted from the same country or of the same race.
Adoptive Families of America or a pen-pal service can help match your child with another child of the same age and background. This will allow your child to form a friendship in a non-threatening way.

Locate your child’s place of birth on a map.
If your child is foreign born, find books about his country of birth. You may want to plan a family visit to that country when your child is in his teens.

Check the library for ethnic music, folk tales, stories and poetry.
Encourage your whole family to become familiar with these stories and songs.

Celebrate holidays from your child’s culture.
Try a holiday recipe or craft together or plan a special night to celebrate your child’s culture by dressing as authentically as possible and duplicating a traditional meal.

Supply toys, dolls, and items of your child’s and other cultures.
Request a free catalogue of adoptive and ethnic items from Adoptive Families of America. Many stores carry dolls and books from other cultures. Try to include items from his culture in his room decor and in his play things.

Look for books in the library that feature all races.
Choose stories that picture children of all races in a non-stereotypical way. Look for books that are both realistic and uplifting.
Try these ideas and others of your own to help your child understand his own cultural background. It will help your own family develop an appreciate of another culture also.

Katrina Cassel, M.Ed., and author lives with her husband, five of their children, and an assortment of pets in the Florida panhandle.